Here’s a couple of recent lessons-learned since I started applying some concepts I picked up ask AskRomeo seminars (and, to be fair, elsewhere in some cases… but the concepts are valid no matter who teaches them):

1. When I got to my current workplace three years ago, I immediately noticed this fantastic-looking blonde who worked there. Seconds later I noticed the wedding and engagement rings on her left hand. Bummer for me… I don’t cross that line.
Well, over the years I deliberately decided NOT to get too close to her on a co-worker / friend level, “just in case” things changed with her. I kept it cordial and professional. Interestingly, I noticed that when I’d talk to her about some work matter, I would frequently get some indicator-of-interest body language… hair-brushing, playing with the necklace, that sort of thing. Nothing super-overt, and mild enough for me to think it might have been unconscious. I never assumed this married woman was making a conscious play for me, and wouldn’t have accepted if she had. I just treated our interaction as a chance to practice body language transmission-and-reception with a woman I was physically attracted to.
Then, surprise surprise, a few months ago I was talking to her about a work issue, and noticed that she seemed to be hiding her hands. Her body language seemed odd, which I only noticed because I was already calibrated to it. Once I paid attention, I eventually saw that the rings were no longer on her left hand. I thought “Whoa!” but said nothing.
Well, chicks don’t take those rings off lightly. I know that meant something. I hate gossip and never seek it out, but no gossip about a divorce had dropped into my lap. I pondered this new info for a few weeks, somewhat indecisive.
Finally I realized I couldn’t stand inaction any longer. So I just walked into her office and said, Look, I may be out of line here, but obviously something major’s changed in your life, and based on that, I really need to ask you out. On a date.
Long story short — good attempt, no sale (yet). She seemed shocked at my directness, but still insisted on giving me a 20-minute explanation of why she split with her husband (short take — she initiated it, he wasn’t assertive and passionate, i.e. not an Alpha male). But she “wasn’t ready” to date yet, so I backed off, saying “you know where I live”.
After a few weeks of not knowing where to go with this, and realizing I was getting frustrated (that word we all HATE), I called Jae and Allen for a phone-coaching session. It was ABSOLUTELY worth the price. They advised me to try another direct run, which I did. She was still skittish, still on the post-divorce roller coaster.
Since then, I’ve backed off… trying to remain dominant without being domineering, trying to tread the fine line of maintaining detached interest without seeming to “hover” or appear weak-willed. Our interaction is odd… there’s an unspoken vibe between us, we both know it but are sort of playing a game. It’s not quite sexual tension, but something’s there. I’m still keeping half an eye out. She’s so good-looking that I assume that she’s being hit on all the time now that she’s ring-less… She seems to be loosening up as her outlook shifts, post-divorce. Time will tell if I can turn this around and not blow an excellent start. But the Moral is: Ask! Be direct.

2. In the meantime… I recently did one of those “afternoon in a posh DC neighborhood” tours a few weeks back. The guide was a good-looking brunette… who, unfortunately, also wore a ring on the wedding-ring finger. But I noticed it was neither a diamond nor a gold ring. I chit-chatted with her and vibed some over the course of a few hours, but didn’t hover. I also noticed that, when I was hanging back, she was doing the brushing-the-hair thing with another guy on the tour, who was younger, thinner, and arguably better-looking than me. But he either didn’t pick up on her indicators-of-interest, or just wasn’t interested. So I decided, if she was available enough (in her own mind) to be attracted to him, then I could get myself into the game. So, I contrived to be the last of the group (her customers on the tour) to depart, and asked her point-blank, “Thanks for the tour… And here’s a non-business question… Is that ring a wedding ring, an engagement ring, or a keep-your-customers-from-hitting-on-you ring?” The answer was, “none of the above” — it was a “decorative” ring, as she was “sort-of” seeing a guy, but when I asked her if I could call her socially, she said, sure, and gave me her number.
We’ve played phone tag since then (about two weeks), so that’s something else that I’ll have to watch to see what develops. But the Moral for me: don’t assume about the ring, and if you’re unsure, Ask! Be direct.

3. Lastly (I promise)… I was standing in line in Subway today behind a HOT brunette. The line was really long and I had several sandwiches to get (office food run). So, for about 7-8 minutes I’m trying to think of something to say to the brunette, but for some reason I’m drawing a blank. (Why I didn’t just use my usual “How are you today?” escapes me.)
In the meantime, I was checking her out… no ring. She must have noticed me noticing her, because she started fidgeting and then brushing her long hair repeatedly. (Another girl who does that.) I finally got some chit-chat going, I can’t remember about what. After she paid for her sandwich and was about to depart after saying “Nice talking to you,” I used the patented Jae Ellis line: “I realize that this may seem totally random, but I just have to say, you are stunning, and I need to get to know you.” She said, Wow, thanks, and I asked her for her name. She gave it. Then I asked for her work number, and she gave it. (I may have stumbled across the finish line here, by asking for a work number, vice home or cell; a personal number would have been stronger, but I didn’t think we’d talked or vibed long enough, and figured a work number would be less threatening. At any rate I got it.)
I’ll call her late tomorrow afternoon and ask here to lunch Friday. Thanks Jae.

So, no touchdowns here, but three cases of downfield movement using AskRomeo principles. And it’s always better to have three balls heading toward receivers (if you’ll pardon the expression) than just one.

Sorry for the length of this, hope it was worth it.